Bend it like Bramble instead then?
It was bound to do the rounds the minute Real Madrid said that David Beckham's future won't be in Spain.
And now with a lucrative move to LA Galaxy sealed, dreams of Beckham in black and white have faded.
Becks, Posh Spice and the kids won't be shopping in the Grainger Market at any point, unless they run seriously short of lighters, biros or pipe cleaning products or take a serious wrong turn on their way to Harrods!
I've got nothing against the Grainger Market and I am sure Becks hasn't either but the truth is the Toon were not interested in the former England captain - and on those wages they couldn't afford him.
Toon boss Glenn Roeder admitted: "David is a fantastic player." but he also said: "We are not involved in any negotiations to bring him to Newcastle."
So that's that.
To be honest if there is one department Newcastle have strength in, it has to be the midfield.
Scott Parker, Nicky Butt, Emre, Charles N'Zogbia, Nobby Solano, James Milner and Matty Pattison and Alan O' Brien give us plenty to go on with.
And I haven't even mentioned the secret weapon in Kazenga LuaLua who netted a great strike in the Youth Cup last night with celebrations to match.
Quite rightly young Lua, cousin of Lomana, is a player that will be wrapped in cotton wool until the time is right, after all he has only just turned 16!
The truth is United have to turn their attentions to other areas of the field.
A striker or two or a defender or two would really give United a great chance of building on the achievements so far this season that have of course been carried out with an injury hit squad.
But who would you sign?
Given that every club is out to get you and make a quick buck and the best players are already tied up, who would you get?
It has to be hard for any team but the price is usually bunked up for Newcastle!
We are told new faces will come in during the window.
But for now we will have to wait until Titus is fit - so we can bend it like Bramble instead!