From the Ritz to the rubble
The party is almost over for Newcastle United unless a team that appears to lack fight and appetite to remain a top flight team can pull something big out of the bag at Villa Park.
We've partied in football's biggest nightclub since 1993 but like a mortal chav who's had too much the bouncers are starting to make their way over to eject Newcastle.
And in the words of the Artic Monkeys, getting kicked out of the big league will come with a humiliating high price, indeed Newcastle will have "to walk back past 10,000 eyes in the line" as they tumble back into the Championship.
Man United, a team we were once 12 points clear of, will smirk the most.
Sunderland could end up having a field day with Newcastle's loss of five points in the Tyne-Wear tussles this term, a major factor in the current situation.
Arsenal, Chelsea, Tottenham - sides we were once streets ahead of, probably won't miss us with a long away trip chalked off.
Man City and Blackburn will be Premier League forces but we'll be going to nowhere towns to watch nowhere football in a nowhere division.
Oh yes, it's an easy enough division to get out of, ask Charlton, Norwich, Leeds and Southampton about that!
And in keeping with the harsh reality of supporting the much maligned Mags, every team will be desperate to beat us - it will be their cup final.
Peterborough United winning at St James's Park?
My word what has the world come to.
How did it all go so wrong so quickly, losing to Partizan Belgrade on pens doesn't seem such a disaster now does it?
All the anguish of dropping fourth to fifth under Sir Bobby seems like nothing.
Beating Barcelona at Gallowgate seems like a weird dream when Tino was on song and even last season the night when Kevin Keegan returned against Stoke City has all paled into insignificance.
Our hero, our legendary number 9, one of the true Geordie sons - looks like he will be the man to take us down!
A cruel some would say sick script that you couldn't write if you tried - and anyone reading it from afar would probably say it was too far fetched.
Even we can't believe it and we were there!
Four managers, a combination of shocking management and naivety at boardroom level leaves us completely on the brink.
Yes, Newcastle can STILL stay up.
Yes, the feeling of relief will be amazing if they do.
But while fans will be buzzing if they do, there will be no party.
It isn't a sign of success staying up, it's a sign of failure.
It's a mark of a team that haven't been good enough.
Somebody asked me the other day who could we sign next season to sort it out.
Well it's a case of who would you keep and would they want to stay anyway if better offers came in.
Bassong, Beye and Steven Taylor are the three who you can make a strong case for.
But anybody else, on this season's evidence, may well be free to go.
A complete overhaul is needed.
Which division that's in, who knows?
We've got so much to lose at Villa Park and it's beginning to slip away.